What do you do when something you support does something you don’t approve of?

I would consider myself a patriotic man, despite being heavily democratic. I believe that in this coming of age, the power of knowledge is extremely prevolent. It is so easy to access information, it may not always be true and my need fact checking but in general there is a solid foundation of information to the world because of the internet. I love this country, and would do most anything to support it, other than give up my family. Myself-yes; my family-no.

But what happens when the country you live in begins to do something I disagree with? Naturally I would stop purchasing from that country or state. In this case, it is California, California is doing something wrong, farmers there are using oil wastewater to irrigate their crops. Now California produces a huge amount of food for the country and the world, and contaminating our crops to chemicals from the wastewater is going to cost a huge amount in damage to lives. The consumption of gas has a high cost and we are begining to truly face it.

I may not see many people who develop cancer as a result. It basically feels like they are saying our lives do not matter, and it is very much so a situation in which the many upholds the few, or literally people climbing a mound of bodies to reach a pot of gold.

What should be done? What can be done? What would you do?


I am a statue of ash, held together by nothing, not even the sinew of my nerves and body. And there I stand, to be blown away by a gentle gust of wind.

Sometimes I feel like I am losing myself within the chaos of the world. Sometimes I try to fight with order and sometimes I try to relax and get absorbed into the chaos. It is a common idea: order versus chaos, Freedom versus Determinism/Pre-destination. But personally, I believe that life is a combination of freedom and determinism. We are trapped in the chaos and the random or not so random events of life, and the subtle things we have control over can change a life. We as human beings have to pursue ceaselessly the things we are passionate about. We have to pursue our freedoms and beliefs as long as it does not hurt or damage other. I don’t know how to live if we have these small lapses from being a mechanism based on the necessities of survival and cannot pursue the things that give us meaning and make us happy in these small moments of life. We are hardly free because no matter what we are confined to the rules of life, the basic needs to survive, and in addition to that we must abide by the rules of our society.

SO every chance we get we should maximize our happiness.

Trained to Seem Smart

Often times, I feel like I am an idiot trained to seem smart. I have been assigned a handful of tasks and I am meant to do them a specific way, and to a person who does not know or understand, they would think that I am intelligent and doing the tasks efficiently and smart; however, the things I do are trained habits and require few critical and creative thinking.

Have We Forgotten America?

I had once believed that there was a strong foundation of ideals that held Americans together. But today, I do not see anything that resembles the America of my dreams. The American I persistently pursue with heart and mind. Granted I am not the best person on this Earth, but I try to live my life with a pure heart and a straight mind. I once believed that America would fight for their God given right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness so long as it did not hurt one another. I no longer see this in todays America.

WE were founded on the great ideas of John Locke and it was propagated by the great founders of America. The basic Idea feels a little blurry now and I don’t know what to say or how to feel when people are willing to sell their freedoms for a Rule of Man, while, we were only prosperous under rule of law.

WE were founded on that idea that America will take the hungry, the poor, the outcasts and give them an opportunity in this would so long as they fight to hard and graciously–although there is nothing gracious about the fight for success–for it. America is the place where anyone can fight for themselves to pursue a better life. Yes, it is nice for things to stay the same, but our manufacturing jobs are being replaced by computers and robotics, and during this shift we are expecting the same jobs when they are being replaced by different ones. So, we fight for our dreams as an American, as a human being we have to fight for our dreams. This is why immigrants come to this country, because it is the best, because it gives us the freedom to chase our dreams, to give us better lives. Or at least I thought, most people have turned a blind eye to the hard work that founded this nation.

No human being can take away another person’s dream.

WE have given away our dreams, we gave it away to the wind–to human guile–and we blame it on the wrong people.

I don’t know what is going to happen under Trump’s Rule, but the American system was designed so greatly to avoid disasters and tyranny and dictatorship. I do not doubt Trump’s intentions to be good, but I do not know how to feel about his presidency other than a little hopeless inside.

I just don’t want to stop pursuing my dreams, and I don’t want another person to stop me, but I am not so sure of that anymore in this world. It is a dream to amend my mistakes raise my daughter and start a family and just be happy.

I apologize, this post is rather incoherent.

Starting A Blog

I didn’t know what an excerpt was so I looked it up.

“a short extract from a film, broadcast, or piece of music or writing.”- Oxford Dictionary.

So, in truth, I have no idea what I am doing, but I wanted to try something new and will start this blog, if someone finds it and starts to read it, I will be astound. Most of everything that will be on the blog is about raw, true experiences of myself. This blog is basically about how horrible of a person I am, honestly, and my attempt to pursue happiness and self-discovery and possible push my lame writing on people; however, I wish to grow my writing skills and I hope to post some short stories and poems on a weekly basis as well as a story of my past.